What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
