How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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