you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
