I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
