I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
