Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
