C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
