So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am naked and annoyed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
