I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
