so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles