ADVERTISEMENT

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

  Fav 21 6385 997

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

  Fav 15 4198 1082

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

  Fav 12 4971 870

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.

  Fav 14 3962 1296

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

  Fav 32 1106 3279

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

  Fav 23 5823 1528

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (636): View more from Missouri

  So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.

  Fav 3 1430 655

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet

  Fav 4 1310 906

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.

  Fav 7 1988 730

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

  Fav 5 1345 594

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

  Fav 0 722 502

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.

  Fav 2 871 453

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.

  Fav 5 999 403

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table

  Fav 2 473 579

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (912): View more from Georgia

  He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.

  Fav 0 123 115

  share tweet
  

Randomize