i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
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All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.