Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The best revenge is premature balding
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize