you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
