I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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