Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
