I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
