Fine. I'll sleep in my office
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
