where does the pee come out of this thing
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
