No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she looked like the before picture.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
