i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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