I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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