My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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