u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can't put those talents on a resume
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
