Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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