Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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