Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
