So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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