thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
