booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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