NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
