I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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