he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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