About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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