I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
