I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
