WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
