what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
