So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
