Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
