How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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