***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
