I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
