would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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