Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me