honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.