my mouth tastes like poor choices
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm too high and old for this...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
