We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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