craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize