are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
