Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
