So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
