don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
