Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
