Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
