What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
