Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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