dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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