I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
