The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
