Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
