I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
