"it" just moved
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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