North Korea, Best Korea!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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