There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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