end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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