Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize