i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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